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Day 16 – Hea Päev, Sillamäe, Narva ja Sinimägi

7/7/2023

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Today we started our adventures early. We took the 1hr20minute drive to Sillamäe and when we started the day I had no idea where we were going to end up! I had no idea about the significance of this place but I quickly learned! The drive was somewhat ok, it seemed long, with lots of speed cameras around but luckily they do warn you. What they don’t have is the normal speed limits on their “highways” but thankfully Juta told me what they were.
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​When we arrived to Sillamäe, it was like being in a movie. The buildings were so beautiful, somewhat modern but also remained intact. Being so close to Russia, this confused me. But then as mum was telling me the significance of this place, it all started to make sense. It was the “Secret City” the Estonian’s were not allowed to go to. It was a holiday destination for the Russian elite, but also some terrible things happening here, which I will get into shortly. It was so strange being there, most people spoke Russian so it kind of felt like we were not in Estonia anymore. I wouldn’t say I felt scared but I definitely didn’t feel at peace and calm and relaxed like I usually am. Having said that, the one thing that really strike me about this place was the flowers! So many beautiful flowers and everything was ordered in such a meticulous way, it was incredible. They were so vibrant and in abundance, I did feel some joy as we were walking up the promenade, towards the top part of the little town. I really enjoyed the pink ones and they were everywhere. It made sense why this area is well kept and well looked after.
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We got to the top part of the town and there were more buildings, more flowers and more gardens. It was so beautiful. We also saw a monument. When we first looked at it, it was a man holding what looked like an atom. We read the plaque on it but it didn’t really give much information as to what it was for. So I did a quick google search and found a somewhat repeatable website that described the significance of this town and this monument. Once I read it, it started making sense as to why the Russians wanted it. As written in the article, they mined Uranium here, which supplied more than 70,000 nuclear weapons from the Red Army. Between 1947 and 1952 they mined about 20 tons of Uranium. Before this, the Nazi’s used the mines in the area as slave labour camps to get the minerals from the ground and use in many ways. It was terrible! Anyway, the monument was erected to commemorate the “Revolution” in 1990 when they finally shut down the Uranium mining operations in this town, one year before Estonia got its freedom. I feel Estonian’s may have been able to visit this after the fall of the Soviet Union. It was incredible to be here though, just being there, feeling into what this place once was and what it represented. I took a few moments to just imagine the way of life here, both for Russians and Estonians and how it would have been very different from either end. To be privileged enough to visit or be at this “secret” city but then knowing it would be contributing to the war, in a big way, would have been challenging, as an Estonian. But then being part of the Russian elite, and living in this beautiful town, would have been something very special. Amazing how your life turns out, depending on where and what time period you were born in. For more information on the article I have got some of my info from, please click this link.
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​After we did the tourist thing, we went down to the promenade on the shore line. It was stunning. If you are reading this and ever have the opportunity to go to Sillamäe, please do yourself a favour, and go! When we got down to the waters edge, we found ourselves looking at the Golf of Finland, and Meriel and I desperately wanted to swim, but we first had to have lunch. We saw this café, with a table and two chairs right next to a bench, and no one appeared to need it, so we took it and put it in front of the bench. It was a bit rebellious but I have learned if you do anything with confidence, you get what you need. We set up our little picnic, including coffee and an Estonian treat and proceeded to have our lunch. We took a small moment to reflect with Juta and she kept saying “hea päev” which means “good day”. She said this a few times throughout the day, hense the title, and it was. About 20 minutes later this lady came up to us and was speaking Russian, I think she was annoyed we had the table. We thought she was a worker, turns out she wasn’t, and she just wanted the table. Then the worker came out to us as we were packing up but she saw we were so it was ok. We then needed to get changed in the bathroom but of course, it cost 20c and I put my money in but the door didn’t open, but then we worked it out and it did. We were a bit naughty again and used the same 20c for al 4 of us, just holding the door and this Russian woman who was doing some of the gardening, saw what we were doing and started getting angry at us, in Russian. Thankfully Juta could speak Russian and we just played the tourist. It was strange and I would bet most people would do this. Plus we didn’t have enough coins because they had to be very specific. After that ordeal, we got an ice cream from the café, to compensate for the use of the table, then headed to the water!
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​We went down these rocks, as there was no clear access to the beach other than this and finally got to swim in the water. Meriel and Juta went in first, playing with the ball and I hung back a little as it did feel a bit cold. But when I started to go in, for the first bit there were so many rocks but I wasn’t game enough yet to go in and just glide over them, rather than walk, so I persevered. Once I got out there, it was cooler but I could feel warm currents hitting me from time to time (and no it wasn’t wee) as there wasn’t anyone else other than us around and it was really frequent. After a little bit mum decided to come in, but it was to cold so she quickly got out. Meriel and I were in there for about an hour and I started to teach her how to somewhat play water polo, she wanted to learn. Most of our conversation was around this and she really wanted to be good at throwing the ball with one hand. There was a rock there which she got up onto and jumped off a few times. I attempted to do it but thought I would die if I tried, so I didn’t. At one point, a bird came so close to me, and then landed on this rock, and Meriel named her Bobbi. Meriel was annoyed because Bobbi took her spot, she wanted to jump off the rock again but clearly couldn’t, we had to leave the bird alone. When we got out, in true Estonian fashion, we got changed on the beach. Estonian’s generally are not ashamed of nakedness or getting changed in public with a towel. So that is what we did. I had previously mentioned to mum I wanted to go to Narva this trip just to see Russia, given what is going on in the world right now and she suggested we take the extra 30mins and go there, so off we went.
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When we started to drive into Narva, I noticed there was such a different energy. The buildings were the old Russian ones with lots of apartments and it had somewhat of an old world industrial feel to it. I knew these apartments were built during Soviet Occupation, and in small pockets in places now but they were surrounding us. We drove towards the castles, because this is where the Russian border is. When we parked we got out and walked up a small promenade there to a “viewing” spot of some kind. I stood there for a few moments just reflecting on the fact that I was looking at Russia, the country that is creating terror and horror in Ukraine and somewhat Europe. I was looking at it from a safe distance and I was told you would be absolutely stupid, as an Estonian to go into Russia. It was incredible, the differences in landscape, buildings and roads, from what I could see. I saw the bridge which was one road in and one road out, and saw the customs checkpoint, in Russia, from where we were standing. The traffic on the bridge did not move the entire time we were there. It was just incredible that I could see Russia, maybe a few 100m away from it. It was blowing my mind because back in Australia it is so distant from us, the War, and here I was standing, right next to the country that everyone is watching. Incredible.
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​Once we left there, we started making our way back to Kadrina. However, along the way when we were driving towards Narva mum told me about the stories of Sinimägi. It was the place where the movie and stories of 1944 are based, where brothers were fighting brothers, Russia against Germany and apparently, from what mum knew Sulev Kalamae’s (a family friend) father was fighting there when he was young. When we were driving back we saw some signs to a memorial for what happened here in 1944 and we decided to take the turn and have a look. When we got there, it was an open field, up a hill. As we were walking up the hill, I could just feel so much sadness, sorrow, anger, confusion, from when people were there fighting for their lives, because they had to, with no other choice. It was remarkable how now it was so green, lush and peaceful, but there had been so much death known on this land in battle and the Estonians were just used to fight for other people. I was grateful they had created a monument to honour the Estonian lives lost in the small town of Sinimägi because a really sad part of our history took place here.
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​Once we took the long drive back home, Meriel and I made dinner which was one of my favourites, Huklihameitsane. Basically meat with some really nice seasoning and pasta! So damn good! When Meriel opened the pasta packet it went everywhere, it was pretty funny as she had never opened a bag of pasta before. We preceded to cook dinner for mum and Juta and they really enjoyed it! I think I may have put a bit to much of the seasoning in the sauce but it still taste damn good! Juta’s sister Maie came over too, for a few drinks. She loved her apron and both her and Juta were friendly arguing who’s was better. Even I could understand that.
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​It was a really big day, with so many emotions felt and I really enjoyed it and it was definitely a highlight for me.
Until tomorrow
Marissa xx
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    A bit about Marissa


    Hi,
    I am Marissa, 35yo woman living in Sydney. Professionally, I am a Registered Nurse and Nursing Academic. This is something which I find challenging to quantify, when someone asks me what I do for work. It involves a great deal of mentoring, empowering, inspiring and teaching early career nurses in a range of nursing areas and challenging their ideas on leadership. 

    I have been the Laagri Juht (Camp Leader) at Sõrve, the Estonian Children's Summer Camp, for the past 6 years and a Juht for 10 more. This role really taught me leadership and how to empower young Estonians and support them in ways to highlight their own capabilities. A am so grateful to have had this experience and be part of the lives of so many Estonians living in Australia. What is unique about Sõrve is it is now a family camp and one I am very proud to have been part of in relation to evolving it to what it is today. This was a joint effort with my Juhtkond team AND many people in the community supporting me, my grand ideas and efforts. I am so grateful to all the people who helped push Sõrve to new heights.

    My career is where my passion for writing started, but it has somewhat dissipated over the last few years, but I really wanted to nurture my creative outlet again. This, with my inclination for sharing, is where this story began.

    I read a lot of other peoples stories, well basically research through story telling. My absolute favourite author and mentor (although she doesn't know it) is Brené Brown, who teaches the world about vulnerability, shame, connection, courage and a whole range of things which resonate with me. It was through her research and story telling that I wanted to start this journey and share my lens of the world, with those who wish to read it.

    I am grateful you are taking the time to read my stories, thank you. 

    Happy reading!
    Marissa xx

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