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Day 9 - Waves of Emotion

29/6/2023

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Today was a very interesting day to say the least. Firstly we decided to navigate the public transport system in Tallinn and catch a bus out to the Maarjamae Memorial which was build to commemorate those who were murdered, deported and displaced by the Soviet Union.
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​When we arrived there, the outside looked so grand and we read the little blurb about it. As I was reading it, I felt so much sadness. I couldn’t hold my tears back. The way they have designed this place is in such a way to symbolise the journey the people, with their name on the walls, took. There must have been so much terror, fear, sadness and sorrow felt by each and every person who has their names on this wall, including my Great Grandmother on my Dad’s side. Mum and one of my relatives in Eesti managed to have her name placed on this wall a few years ago, more on that later. As we read the information and started our journey through the monument, I felt both at peace but also so much anger and wondered how people could do this to other people. What I really liked, with all the information that was written about this monument, is the raw language used, “these people were murdered”, “war crimes against the Estonian people”. Those folks that designed this monument were not afraid to call it what it is and were very blunt in their language, really emphasising what really happened and now using soft language to not make it sound so harsh. This I thought was very powerful and has a bigger impact on the folks reading this and experiencing the monument for what it was.
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Once you come through the monument, it opens up to the gardens. These gardens represent the apple trees and honey bees, which is encapsulated by one of my favourite songs “Ta Lendab Mesipuu Poole”. It is a song about the honey bees coming back home to the apple trees. This is what the architects of the monument aimed to represent. They have created this amazing feature on the wall with metal honey bees flying around, covering the words and it just looks so grand and incredible. As I was sitting there, reading the sign and taking a moment, I couldn’t help but reflect on the horrors of that time when people were being taken from their homes, children separated from their parents, people being murdered in cold blood just because of their occupation or what they knew. Academics, doctors, scientists, politicians were among the first to be murdered, so I possibly would have been one of the first to be murdered had I lived in that time, given what I do for work. Absolutely terrifying and sadly, not to dissimilar to what is happening in the Ukraine currently. While we were sitting there, I could hear mum, a distance away, softly singing Ta Lendab Mesipuu Poole and that really brought a tear to my eyes. Estonian’s really are connected with music and song
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1000's fall on their way but 1000's more will arrive home - and take care and fly to the beehive

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​After we left there, we caught the bus to Kadriorg Palace. We have never been there and it was stunning!! We walked through the gardens and they were just so immaculately kept with so many trees. What stuck me about this place was how peaceful it was. You could hear the birds signing. It was so lovely. We had a little coffee, cake and pirukad for lunch here. Mum joked that we were doing a pirukad tour of Estonia because we have started having them, just to see what they taste like. When we finished and went up to the top part of the gardens, wow they were incredible! But before we did, mum pointed out a lady with a stunning yellow dress with some gorgeous patterns on it. We later discovered she was the Ukrainian Ambassador!
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When we were walking around the top area, there were just so many beautiful flowers, and again, the gardens were kept so immaculately! They brought so much joy, the abundance of colour and neatness they were kept in. The building was also very grand and stunning. Imagine having a wedding or a big garden party there, it would be amazing!
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​Once we left there we took the tram back to the city. Mum had never been on a tram before, in Tallinn so of course I had to capture that moment. There isn't much to write about it but I wanted to include this in my little story.
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​In the evening, I was invited to a meeting for the globalestonia.com run by the Estonian Government. It was a meeting with the Youth organisations of people from around the world, who were in Tallinn. This was amazing to be a part of and I was very grateful to have been invited. It was all in Estonian and I could understand some of it but it was wonderful just to be part of something big. I made some lovely connections at this meeting, which was held in a cinema. They had their little tag line of "Leia Oma Eesti" or "Find your Estonia" I really liked this because everyone has their own story and experience as to how they are connected to Eesti, and they want to celebrate this. I really enjoyed the talk by Nora, who spoke about the Global Estonian Youth Network. I met with some of the lovely people at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Ministry for Education. The lady that organised this event has very kindly invited me to be part of a tour some of them are doing in August, to see Estonian Summer Camps in Eesti and many people knew about Sõrve, asking me about what it is like in Australia. They played a video of Global Estonain’s around the world and there was footage of Sõrve! I said, pretty loudly and unashamed “oh my god! That’s my camp!!” the girl next to me giggled. I wasn’t quick enough with my phone to take a photo or video but they are going to send me the link. After the meeting we had a drink and some discussions but more on that later, once we have established some kind of agreement.
We also discovered we both sit on the Global Estonian Committee and had so many stories to share and plans to be made. Who knows what will come of this little evening, but I hope it is something big and that can make an impact on Estonians around the world.
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​Then, when we got home I finally had my first little bit of meekook (honey cake). It was a bit thicker than normal bit god damn it was good! It was even better because I didn’t spend 6 hours to make it and I enjoyed every little bit of it. So delicious!!
 
Until tomorrow
Marissa xx
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    A bit about Marissa


    Hi,
    I am Marissa, 35yo woman living in Sydney. Professionally, I am a Registered Nurse and Nursing Academic. This is something which I find challenging to quantify, when someone asks me what I do for work. It involves a great deal of mentoring, empowering, inspiring and teaching early career nurses in a range of nursing areas and challenging their ideas on leadership. 

    I have been the Laagri Juht (Camp Leader) at Sõrve, the Estonian Children's Summer Camp, for the past 6 years and a Juht for 10 more. This role really taught me leadership and how to empower young Estonians and support them in ways to highlight their own capabilities. A am so grateful to have had this experience and be part of the lives of so many Estonians living in Australia. What is unique about Sõrve is it is now a family camp and one I am very proud to have been part of in relation to evolving it to what it is today. This was a joint effort with my Juhtkond team AND many people in the community supporting me, my grand ideas and efforts. I am so grateful to all the people who helped push Sõrve to new heights.

    My career is where my passion for writing started, but it has somewhat dissipated over the last few years, but I really wanted to nurture my creative outlet again. This, with my inclination for sharing, is where this story began.

    I read a lot of other peoples stories, well basically research through story telling. My absolute favourite author and mentor (although she doesn't know it) is Brené Brown, who teaches the world about vulnerability, shame, connection, courage and a whole range of things which resonate with me. It was through her research and story telling that I wanted to start this journey and share my lens of the world, with those who wish to read it.

    I am grateful you are taking the time to read my stories, thank you. 

    Happy reading!
    Marissa xx

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