Day 26 – Time with the Family and Reflections on Estonia’s History

Today started off nicely, we had our last breaky at the Viljandi Grand Hotel, packed up our things and started out small journey back to Tartu. Before we left Viljandi, I had to go to the lake again. When we got there it was sunny and warm. I remember when we got out of the car thinking how peaceful it was and the joy the kids playing with the water must have been feeling. You could hear it in their voice. It is very much part of the Estonian culture to spend the summer days down at the lake just relaxing and swimming. When Estonian’s go somewhere to relax, they really relax. It is a practice I feel us in Australia should adopt and really be intentional with our time, especially when it comes to switching off. The little hut at the lake said the water was 28 degrees. I don’t think it was that warm but it was refreshing. I was a bit hesitant in going under but I am glad I did. When I was in there, a lady was speaking to me in Estonian and I had to respond with, I only speak a little bit of Estonian (in Estonian of course). 

She giggled and told me she could understand me perfectly (in Estonian). It was sweet. At one point I was laying on my back, floating and just looking at the clouds. It was so healing and refreshing doing that. It was almost like stopping time and just being for a moment, connected with nature. I really enjoyed doing this and hope I can do it a bit more while I am here. Once I got out of the lake I noticed a grandmother with her grandchildren there. the programme reason when Danae and I were at a lake in Estonia with our Grandmother in Elva. This has to be one of my fondest memories and earliest ones when we were in Estonia the first time. I remember us being at Elva Lake I'm just spending the day there with Sivli. Watching these kids with their grandmother just broadband memories and some emotions and I hope they understand how lucky they are to be able to do this.

​Mum and I made the trip back to Tartu. Once we got here, sorted things out, put on some washing etc, we headed to Lõunakeskus, some kind of mall. I knew there was a Muhu bread shop there, something mum really likes and she headed straight for it. It was already the middle of the day so there was not a lot left but she managed to find something and the bread does taste good, I guess it is made differently in Muhu (an island of Estonia). We wondered around the mall and found the “flying tiger” shop. This brought back memories as I had been there several times before when I had been here. It is a shop with the most random things in it and relatively inexpensive. I remember last time going to the one at Tartu Kaubumaja (another mall) and being fascinated at what you could buy there. I mean it is similar to what we can get in Australia but it is still different. We headed to Rimi to get some things for the family gathering in the evening. When we were in the fruit and vegetable section, I was fascinated by the size of the tomatoes in Estonia. They were massive and I never really seen anything quite like it. I was wondering if they were juicy or if it was sweet or if they had a really good flavour, because they were so big but we decided to buy them instead of the cheaper ones it should probably imported. I then saw the mangos, they were definitely different to what I was used to seeing in Australia. They were green and they were a bit of a different shape but I didn't buy one and I probably should have, just to see if they tasted differently. Apparently this is what mangoes really look like and what we get isn't completely accurate. Again, there was an abundance and variety of items that you could buy this store, and every time I go to supermarket I am impressed with how far they have come from the first time I was here in 2001, in regards to what is available to you. We then found in Estonia shop again. We may or may not have bought some things but the coolest thing I found was a harmonica with some Estonian design on it. This was significant to me because our Grandpa used to play Danae I the harmonica, which we still have, and Danae I and I used to dance around whilst he was playing it. I clearly couldn't leave it there.

​Later on in the evening there was a gathering of part of my Dad's family my dad's cousins house. It was really lovely that they had gathered all together so that we could see them all at once, and it brought up conversations of the last time we all did this when my extended family on my dad side had come here and we brought a bus from Tallinn, think about it this house and had a really memorable party. I remember my dad and my uncle really enjoying themselves and wanting to stay longer so they paid the bus driver more money to stay an extra hour. That evening in 2019 was really special because it involved a lot of my aunties and uncles and cousins or gathered in one place in Estonia plus our Estonian family, and I do not think that will ever happen again. I hope I am wrong but I do not see that type of event happening in the near future. It is moments like these when I reflect back on a time when Estonia was occupied by the Soviets, and how it would completely unachievable to even come to Estonia. different way of life and circumstances or opportunities that would have even allowed you to come into the country, yet now we can come freely and explore the land, explore the culture and the history that has been created here. I have been told many stories that when family would come to Estonia before 1991, they would have to meet at a particular hotel with the family and not visit anywhere else in the country. It was likely the surrounding areas will probably bugged by the KGB or the Russians or whoever, so you could not speak freely about your experience of living in Estonia. It amazes me that now in 2023 looking back on the Soviet occupation of Estonia, we are able to come here, gather, and live in this free world, BUT, there is the threat of Russia still. The topic of Ukraine comes out often in conversation here, especially with family, and I feel that in Australia we do not completely comprehend and understand the significance of what is happening there. I am so grateful that we are able to come here and spend time with our extended family in Estonia because until 1991 this was not a possibility. Even speaking with them around various things and what life was like under the Soviet occupation is an incredible conversation to be apart of. Each time I come here I find they are more open to talking about what life was like but I am also more interested in it. of course I have to still be mindful of traumas that it might bring up so I do tread lightly when discussing, or opening up these conversations, but each time I have a conversation about what life is like with my family, I learn so much more and begin to have more understanding of what life was really like and I really hope it does not go back that way.

​The family gathering that we had was really lovely and it was wonderful seeing different parts of the family coming together. there has been death, there has been birth, and even a pandemic since we last saw them. It amazes me the connections that we can make and the possibilities and the conversations. I really enjoyed being able to see this part of my family in such an easy way, and really reconnecting with them. At times it was a bit of a struggle because a lot of the conversation was in Estonian, sometimes is that I wasn't able to understand what was being discussed and then they would translate and switch to English, which I was grateful for. it has become very obvious to me that I need to learn Estonian, not only for these situations but the other things that I'm doing here I think it will be very beneficial for me to learn how to speak the language fluently. That was great as it was seeing my family I did notice within myself that I I've reached my limit of social interactions and needed data recharge. I have to remind myself that is OK because I am used to being by myself or with Runi, and that's it. I have learned how to recharge on my own and this has become somewhat of a struggle whilst here but it was something I was prepared for and just need to find some small pockets of time to be able to do that. I have a lot of gratitude that I am able to even have this holiday and these experiences so finding time by myself is something that I do just quietly. It was wonderful to be able to share stories and my experiences over the last several years but also hearing their experiences and what it was like living here in the pandemic as well as where they are up to in their lives. It’s these small conversations that connect us so many ways.
Until tomorrow
Marissa xx